A young daughter asked her father and mother dad when can I have sex? Normally parents would be outraged for even asking such question. It would be considered culturally taboo to even raise that ‘stupid question’. The mother was terrified with her daughter asking. The father put his glasses down rubbed his eyes with his fingers and wore the glasses again. He say beside his daughter and asked do you love someone? The daughter replied no. But I would like to. When should I have sex with him?
Ok, sweetheart I shall tell you. Before that do you know how a tree grows?
Yes dad, replied the daughter. It takes lots of sunshine, ater from its roots and lots of years for a plant to become a tree. That s right dear, trees take lots of years to grow. When the plant dies, the roots do not. The roots still give rise to a new plant. And that’s how the process of a growing tree never stops unless the roots are also killed.
Ya dad, that’s right. But why is that you are telling me all of this now. I mean what have trees got to do with sex?
Be patient dear. Now further tell me, if trees had only 20 years to grow and during the plant stages the plant gets killed many times, will the tree stop growing?
No dad it will not. The root will keep the process of growing and a plant comes up again. If this time it gets good condition, it grows into a tree after many years of process. But yes if time is only 20 years, the tree would grow but not fully since it wasted time regrowing. Hmm sighed the father.
Ok Now you see Love is like a tree honey. The root for love cannot die. We as humans will always have the potential to love. But when we love the wrong person at the right time, just like the young plant, love dies but now your ability to love. So we can love again and try to find the next relationship that fits us better. Making sense?
Yes, Love needs lots of care and right person to grow fully. We have limited time to love and if we spend loving that one person we grow much faster and a taller like that TREE. Hmm making sense slightly but what about sex? That was my first question!
We are getting there. So understand now that in relationships the growth of love just like growth of tree needs time, care, patience, discipline, nurturing and willingness to grow. If we keep making wrong choices in love, we stunt the growth of love. Since life has limited time, we must ensure we choose the right person to love fully and grow like that Tree. This is called Vitality of relationship. Sex is the pinnacle of love. Two souls unite emotionally, spiritually, physically to participate in the universal process of creation. This is an act of vitality. Now imagine if you choose to have sex with someone and later move on from that relationship – just like that plant loosing vitality every time it is killed, we loose vitality when we do not continue growing vitality in relationships.
So dad is having sex with multiple partners wrong?
Tricky question let me put it this way. What nature says and what religions try to say. It is very natural to find many partners sexually appealing and sexually compatible. It is okay to have multiple sexual partners according to nature. Most animals including Man are polygamous by nature. But if you closely observe by hovering among different partners, we would obstruct the growth of vitality in life. Since we live for a limited time on earth, our vitality tree would not grow much. So religions try to preach loyalty to single partner. Why? Because it simply adds vitality to life. You grow the Tree of Love in your life much bigger and taller that way. Just like how the gardener knows how to grow a tree from a plant, religions have documented centuries of observations into code of life. Therefore religions do not allow or forbid having multiple partners because it harms vitality if tree of love in your life.
So dad should I have sex or not if I have a boyfriend?
Yes and No. Both the choices are justified dear. Question is do you choose vitality or fall for love with immature decision making and be hurt. Well from what life taught me both the choices are fine. But this I can say, if you choose a right person to love and die with and grow with him your tree of love – the process of making that person stay with your forever is called marriage. Marriage is hard work just like how the gardener grows the tree. It is not easy. It requires dedication, discipline, sacrifices, hard work, love, joy, care, understanding most importantly being a good friend. That’s how the tree of love grows in your life. Sex is a sacred act of creation in universe. If you do it with the right partner under a commitment of so called marriage it helps you add vitality. When you fill your life with such vitality, you will be able to take care of more people around you. That’s how families are built. So to answer your question dear when is the right to have sex? When you found that right person to live and die with and who is willing to grow your tree of vitality with his commitment called marriage. That’s the best way to grow in life.
So dad is it wrong if someone has sex before marriage?
Look at nature dear and learn from its ways. Nature accommodates everybody and everything. There are good trees, bad trees, old trees, fruitless trees, useless trees, useful trees, beautiful trees, ugly trees and all. The Universe wants everything to exist. So if somebody wants to have sex before marriage, outside marriage or no sex at all or sex change operation – it is absolutely fine. We must respect their choice just like how nature allows every kind of tree to grow. There is nothing right or wrong. Everything is relative. A tree we call useless can be useful to another animal. Similarly there is nothing right or wrong truly. Everything is part of nature. We create discrimination called right and wrong. So the advice is if you do with a committed partner alone you grow with vitality. Blessed are those who find such partners. However sex before marriage or outside marriage must also be respected as their choice.
So dad I take my answer for when should I have sex as when you find the right soul who would add vitality to grow my tree of life under a commitment called marriage. Correct?
Yes dear. One more thing, when you find somebody company better, when you like someone around you it is wise to make them friends. When you are sexually attracted to someone accept that it is your body’s unconditional choice and it is okay. When you find someone who is marriage material – marry him! Type1,2, or 3. Type 1 = Marriage Material, Type 2 = A friend who should not be confused with a lover. That way they stay forever in our life and that relationship can be cherished. And a friend in need is a friend indeed. So when you say friend mean it. Finally Type 3 understand that it is pure sexual attraction towards this person and it is okay to have such feelings. Always act in a manner where your tree of love would be proud of you. Make the right choice with the right people. Hmm.
So dad why did you tell me all this without getting mad at me for asking such stupid question when I m only 16??
Because I am a good father.
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